Monday, October 11, 2004

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline wasmissed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success andadvancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstreamonly to get screwed and die in the end

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cubefarm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppiesturn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out andwhiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one'sworkplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are oftenprofoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

(AMEN)404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,subdivisions...

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize thatyou've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

I have a strange notion that i have read this earlier in some dilbert book .. Am i right ? ;)
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